Failure

[phoenixzeze]

I dont know about you guys, but this is the first time I really feel that I have failed.... It is not a pretty feeling..
I am feeling really down, this forum, because it is interested in my major, maybe i can find a solution for what I am going through, since most of the people here, have, in a way or another gone through this...........
How does it feel?
to work harder than u thought u could, but finally you fail, you just fail.......
For a year, I have been working hard on the courses part on my MA degree ( a year of intensive courses before starting to write the dissertation)........
you can never believe how I (with my collegues) was running to please the professors with the response papers, presentions, an seminar........
weekly evaluation, daily development... getting praise from all my professors, I was so sure I will make it to the next year..........
But here I am failing to courses........... I will have to do it all over again in a very boring tiring and frustrating process ........ bearing in mind that if I fail again, it is over......... Goobye for masters.........
you ll say, here you are just bitching about it, you did not work hard enough......... sometimes I think that my self....... but what is really frustrating me that I was so sure, I woked really really harder than I could.. and it is five marks short of passing for each course..........

I am really consiering quitting, but I will not make that decision so soon... maybe the zest will come back ......... maybe


so share with me ... tell me about your failures... and did failure turn into success after all (as my parents and friends are trying to tell me?)

[Eric]

Judging by your replies, you are a perfectly intelligent person.

If you are failing, something is wrong. There are perhaps different reasons for this:

1) You haven't really got your heart in what you are studying, and are just doing it because you think it will get you a job with the certificate.

2) You are spending more time on social life than on your studies.

3) You are spending more time on other reading, not relevant to your course, than on your studies.

4) You have fallen in love, and it's not working out, and you are letting that dominate your life. So you want everything else to collapse around you, so that you can show how much you love the person.

All these things are perfectly human, and have been experienced by thousands, if not millions of people. But you are the only one that knows what you really want.

[phoenixzeze]

Hahahahahaha ,
I wanted to quote one term of the reasons you ve mentioned, but it turned out that all of them are right....... LOL

Yeah, the courses were really boring and far from what I have signed up for... I thought the master is the place for real masters in literature... (That is motivated by your encouragment an comment on my replies.. so bear up with it)

The fallen in love term seems the most reasonable, now I am searching in my memory for the one for whom I failed... But sorry no match... but it is reasonable for other people probably..

mMaybe the social life (getting new interesting friends) and reading other things (hoping to find sth to compare my boring obligations with) are the reasons I failed...

Thank you for giving me the options.. you seem to be an expert in failures... or a psychiatrist...

I hope every one gets a reply like this one so they wont get trapped in questions... I ll try to dig deeper in the reasons of failure ... after all the definition of failure is failing, not planning to theorize... but it feels good to know that I am not the only one failing in the world

[saliotthomas]

Sorry but i can't help you Phoenix.

I never failed.

[Daniel del Real]

Sorry but i can't help you Phoenix.

I never failed.

I've failed once. When I wrongly thought I had failed

[phoenixzeze]

Well Good for you Salliotthomas I envy you ... Also Daniel ... but this is not a good thing.... failing after a long time of succes can be worse... I failed now so I will be prepared and numb for any coming failures.. lol

At that time you may seek my experience ... 500$ per advice

[nnyhav]

Worstward Ho!

[beelzebubbles]

How can you be failing? It's only October. The school year has just begun.

[e joseph]

I also led an failure free life into my early 20s, then made one mistake and blammo, failure. It set off a chain of horrid events leading to ruin. Good luck!

[heidiadonis]

I had a 'C' once in a mathematical physics course during my graduate program. That was equivalent to getting an 'F' and three strikes like that would have caused me to get expelled from the school I had worked so hard to get into. I eventually had to change my field and lost about 2 years of the graduate school and learned some humility at the same time. I failed the course because I did not have the adequate skills for the course. There was a misalignment between the undergraduate and graduate programs and not everyone goes to a graduate school all prepared even when one thinks one finished all the required coursework during the undergraduate years. There should be a right guidance for a new graduate student.

[Galatea92]

so share with me ... tell me about your failures... and did failure turn into success after all (as my parents and friends are trying to tell me?)

No, they're just being nice . Failure is just failure.

Growing up is learning that you don't always get what you want; that those you love don't always love you back; that the career you always dreamed of is permanently out of reach. And to make this truth more palatable we compromise our dreams, adjust our expectations, and call our failures our successes.

You're young. Everyone is constantly telling you that you can do what you want if you try hard enough. But that isn't true. Trying hard all the time just makes people miserable; in the end most of us compromise so that we can get a bit of pleasure out of life.

(Oh, and be careful with the Nietsche. It's easy to despise other people's weakness; our own often takes us by surprise.)

[phoenixzeze]

How can you be failing? It's only October. The school year has just begun.

Well, I finished exams two weeks ago... It is the master program, it is different from the "school" program... I am 25 School

[phoenixzeze]

Thank you Galatea... I think failure is a part of the growing up process ...
You are right, I got used to failing only when I dont work hard.. but when I try my best, I used to get the best result... I think that, as heidiadonis has suggested, that graduate programs are different from the undergraduate and "school".......

Two more failure and I will be a fully grown up girl...

Thanks

[beelzebubbles]

Have you spoken with your adviser about your difficulties? Maybe he/she can recommend a remedial course of action. Maybe you can put your course work on hold until you prepare yourself more fully for Master's work.

I also recommend cultivating your teachers and advisers. Let them know who you are and how eager you are. Take an interest in their work as well. Success is rarely based exclusively on the work that is done, but on how you are perceived by others. If they see you as a respectful, interested colleague, the value of your work will go up.

[phoenixzeze]

Yeah, that's what I am planning to do.. I have to meet some of my professors and discuss few things with them, I am sure they will tell me about my weaknesses and strength points.
But in a way or another, I am still afraid to do so... scared that what I think are my strength ponts would turn out to be my weaknesses ( the things that I really love, may not be the best domains to excell in).....

Anyhoooo , it should be helpful since I am startng again a month from now. so I should be prepared.

Thanks alot

[heidiadonis]

I am glad you have a cheerful disposition. I still have a nightmare of a bad grade once in a while. Anyone who went through an elite school system does because the topic comes up in my circle of friends and they do confess the similar nightmare experience but we all laugh out about it. We are all glad the school or testing for a grade is over. Cheers!

[Clarissa]

It's not the school or uni. grades that count - it is what you do with your life after the official learning process ends; hen life teaches you to take failure and success with equanimity!

[phoenixzeze]

You are absolutely right in that... Real life is the real challenge... in school or college you have a chance to correct your mistakes.. in real life.. what is done is done.. you failed, you get a whip telling you to move on and forget about it, you ont have time to even think it over....
You are good only when you success everything, or when you fail and have the ability to forget ur failure and go on............ (to fail again)..
Actually I am still in the meditating phase now...... havent got over it .. still sleeping most of my day so i wont think about it ........