Amusing Headlines

[hdw]

I do enjoy the occasional startling headline. The one that caught my eye in yesterday's Edinburgh Evening News, tucked away at the bottom of an inside page, was "MP carries out surgery in gay bar". Reading on, I was relieved to find that the painful cuts in question were the pending cuts in public services as discussed by Edinburgh East MP Sheila Gilmore with the habitu?s of the Regent Bar in Montrose Terrace.

Harry

[waalkwriter]

Or, "transvestite has sex with dog in stately manor" can't get that one out of my head...thanks Eric.

[waalkwriter]

Or this:

Rand Paul Not a Kidnapper "In a Legal Sense," Accuser Says

The Republican Senate Candidate in Kentucky. Hilarious, but nothing less could be expected from the son of Ron Paul. The story in question is about a hazing he did while in a Fraternity at Baylor University, where they abducted a girl on the swim team, took her to their house, made her smoke pot, then took her to a creek and said, "Our god is Aqua Buddha, bow to our god."

I always file stories like this in the "you can't make this shit up file" for future inspiration in my writing.

[Bottle Rocket]

Two that stick with me (same general subject, but unrelated)

Headless body in topless bar

and

Boy kicks paper bag in street
Severed head rolls out



BR

[waalkwriter]

Wow, what a disturbing return to the forum.

[waalkwriter]

I think this headline speaks for itself, don't you Harry, Eric, etc?

[Mirabell]

Wow. Seriously awesome headline, that.

[pesahson]

One of my favorite non news was a story about a woman who called the fire department asking them to come over, fearing her cat would explode any minute. She claimed she saw him eat explosives (sic!) and was expecting the worst. They came. The cat was fine. On the other hand, the woman was totally drunk.

[Liam]

I can't, for the life of me, locate the appropriate story now, but about seven or eight years ago there was an article in the local newspaper about an old guy who died in a strip club after getting hit on the head with a silicon tit!

The headline was something like, Old Man Dies after Hitting Breast, .

[waalkwriter]

I recall one from a few months ago that was along the lines of "Poisonous snake dies after biting model's breast". The snake it turned out, was a cobra and it died of silicon poisoning. The model was fine and unharmed.

[Amoxcalli]

I recall one from a few months ago that was along the lines of "Poisonous snake dies after biting model's breast". The snake it turned out, was a cobra and it died of silicon poisoning. The model was fine and unharmed.

Best argument for fake boobs I've heard in a while.

[Mirabell]

Best argument for fake boobs I've heard in a while.

Not that there are any bad arguments for fake boobs. rofl

(jk)

[pesahson]

I love this story:



An anonymous artist transformed Russian Red Army soldiers from a monument in the city of Sofia, in Bulgaria, into popular superheroes and cartoon characters. Taking centre stage is Superman with his distinctive red cape and blue suit. To the left is Santa Claus and to the right Ronald McDonald, the mascot of the fast-food giant McDonalds, and the Joker also makes an appearance.

Below the graffiti artist has sprayed “Moving with the times” in Bulgarian black paint. The “artistic vandalism” appeared [friday] morning – but it is still not clear who is behind the colourful display.

[Mirabell]

This is seriously awesome!

[pesahson]

A bright pink tank has temporarily returned to the heart of Prague, to mark the 20th anniversary of the Soviet troops’ withdrawal from Czechoslovakia.
The tank was originally displayed in Prague in 1945, to commemorate the country’s liberation by the Red Army from Nazi troops in the second World War.
It was painted pink by a Czech artist in 1991 – the same year the Russian troops left the country. (From www.3news.co.nz)

[Flower]

I love this story:



An anonymous artist transformed Russian Red Army soldiers from a monument in the city of Sofia, in Bulgaria, into popular superheroes and cartoon characters. Taking centre stage is Superman with his distinctive red cape and blue suit. To the left is Santa Claus and to the right Ronald McDonald, the mascot of the fast-food giant McDonalds, and the Joker also makes an appearance.

Below the graffiti artist has sprayed “Moving with the times” in Bulgarian black paint. The “artistic vandalism” appeared [friday] morning – but it is still not clear who is behind the colourful display.

What a great idea! Its obviously not your average graffiti.

[waalkwriter]

Yes, I can't believe they didn't keep it. Modern art at it's finest I love the statement it makes about the Americanization and materialization of the post-communist country.

[Eric]

Whatever brand of football they play over the pond in the USA, in Europe we play a type with a round balls that causes utter hysteria in millions of "sporty" males (the same males who claim that hysteria is something women suffer from) who sit on terraces or in front of TV sets for their "exercise".

In the British daily, the Daily Telegraph I read the headline:

Champions: Chelsea are the kings of Europe

What these journos, themselves grown hysterical, have forgotten is that in a bread & circuses way the leaders of the real Europe are no doubt hoping that millions of Europeans will forget what an economically precarious situation the real Europe is in right now.

[Eric]

I see that my thread entitled "Moronic headlines" has not been a hit by those who worship the press; lead balloons and all that. But I did find the headline of this article amusing:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...a-victory.html

I especially liked the pun "don't mention the score". A little punning brightens your day. If you don't get the pun, you should study Fawlty Towers and other British comedy series more.

[Liam]

Mauled Man Calls 911 from Tree