It's hard to dissociate Murnane from his narrators because, like him, they happen to be writers living in Melbourne and teaching creative writing at a university, but I'd be careful in ascribing their shortcomings to the author himself. Remember, he's not writing memoirs, he's writing fiction. It's a very autobiographical fiction, but it's fiction.
I think you correctly identify the "function" of women in his stories, but I'd like to point out that this has less to do with any of Murnane's
actual views on women (which we know nothing about as we haven't asked him directly) and everything to do with his narrators' endless solipsism and introspection.
If his narrators all happened to be gay men, the "function" of the objects of their affection wouldn't change at all, I don't think. They would also be required to serve as silent listeners. Murnane is just not very interested in exploring anything lying outside the confines of his own mind, and while that can be infuriating, I find it fascinating!
Anyways, I'm glad you are liking his books, guys!